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Need grammatical help from a native english speaker
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorSpaceFreakMicha
Jesus-Freak
Registered: March 13, 2007
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Germany Posts: 1,732
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Well, I thought I could get help on tumblr and twitter where I follow (and being followed) young writers, but no one seems to care. Time to ask the loyal movie freaks who never disappoint... 

I wrote a little haiku but I'm not sure which second verse is correct or "better" english:

Marvellous blossoms
a) you form with every year OR b) you are carrying each year
and sweeter fruits, too

Thanks in advance!
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile Registrantmediadogg
Aim high. Ride the wind.
Registered: March 18, 2007
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a)
Thanks for your support.
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorSpaceFreakMicha
Jesus-Freak
Registered: March 13, 2007
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Thanks mediadogg, much appreciated! 
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorEagle
Registered: Oct 31, 2001
Registered: March 15, 2007
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I agree with mediadogg...the grammar with a) is better
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DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantStar ContributorDJ Doena
Battle Troll
Registered: March 14, 2007
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But Micha, remember: You can write about parkways and flowers, but don't try to appreciate women in your poems, because that's sexist!



(For those who didn't get that "joke": https://www.thelocal.de/20180124/berlin-university-outrages-artist-by-erasing-his-poetry-over-sexism-allegation)
Karsten
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 Last edited: by DJ Doena
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorSpaceFreakMicha
Jesus-Freak
Registered: March 13, 2007
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Germany Posts: 1,732
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Thanks  Eagle & DJ Doena!

And Doena: Did I write about a woman? Or a tree? 
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar Contributordee1959jay
Registered: March 19, 2007
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Quoting DJ Doena:
Quote:
(For those who didn't get that "joke": https://www.thelocal.de/20180124/berlin-university-outrages-artist-by-erasing-his-poetry-over-sexism-allegation)


Copying the web address works, clicking the link does not.
 Last edited: by dee1959jay
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